Heal Me (A Touched Trilogy Book 2) Page 12

  Micah shifted in his seat, angling a bit away from me, then draped his arm across the back of my seat. It wasn’t a move, just him getting comfortable, but it still brought a fluttering to my stomach. After that, it was impossible to concentrate on the movie. Emotions bombarded me and after an absence of four months, they were driving me nuts. I tried to relax, to stay calm in the face of the on slant. I slid to the side and bumped into Micah. Automatically I started to straighten up, and suddenly his hand no longer just rested behind my shoulder but on it.

  I looked at him and time seemed to speed up. One moment we were staring at each other and the next we were kissing. I parted my lips just enough to let him inside. He tasted minty and I knew he’d been eating the Junior Mints he bought earlier. The hand he’d rested on my shoulder cupped the back of my head and we pressed closer.

  Time passed and I simply let myself hold the moment, loving the thrills he was sending through me. It wasn’t until someone coughed rather loudly that we drew away. When we did, I sat in shock, and maybe a bit of pleasure.

  “Wow.” The word slipped from my obviously loose lips and I was glad of the darkness hiding my blush.

  “Right,” he said.

  “I don’t think...”

  “Right,” he said again.

  I giggled and immediately followed it by cringing. Giggling always made me sound like some little girl. The cough came again and this time I realized it was some woman sitting a few seats over who was glaring through the dark at us. I sank into my seat and did my best to watch the rest of the movie.

  When the credits finally rolled, I tensed up in anticipation. Dylan and I would always sit through the credits and when everyone else had left, he’d give me the goodnight kiss he couldn’t do when he dropped me off. But Micah didn’t wait. Instead, he shot up and took off down the aisle before I even registered that he’d moved. I scrambled to follow him and didn’t completely catch up until we were in the lobby.

  “Want to grab a coffee?” he asked, his hands shoved deep into his pant pockets.

  “Yeah, sure.” I tried to think of a time I’d felt so awkward with a guy. Even the last time this had happened with Micah, he’d manage to joke about it and make everything seem normal again.

  We walked across the parking lot to the Starbucks, and I was glad Phoebe and the others were gone. She would take one look at me and know something had happened and there was no way I’d be able to avoid her questions.

  While Micah used the restroom, I ordered myself an iced strawberry and cream frappuccino, knowing it was caffeine free, and less likely to stimulate a migraine. I was paying for it when Micah came out and ordered some kind of tea. I hadn’t seen him as a tea guy.

  We found a coffee table and some open chairs near the front overlooking the parking lot and I stared out the window, wishing I knew what to say. Kissing someone randomly was not part of my normal day and I hadn’t gone through the whole starting-to-date thing since I was fourteen. Then again, this wasn’t really a date. And if it wasn’t a date, then what did it mean that Micah had kissed me?

  “Sooo...” Micah drew the word out and I wondered if he had the same thoughts as I did.

  “How old is Hannah now?” I asked, latching onto a stray thought that had nothing to do with the way his lips felt on mine, or if his heart beat as furiously as mine had.

  “She’s almost eleven months.” He pushed his sleeve up and showed me the tattoo I had once glimpsed. Hannah’s name and what must be her date of birth in swirly black writing. Underneath was a smaller tattoo. It was difficult to make out, but knowing what I did about him and Hannah, I could easily figure out it was the name Jaime. He pushed his sleeve back down, then took a sip from his tea, and searched the parking lot, maybe looking for the same thing I had. I thought he would try for a way to change the subject when he glanced back at me and said, “You can ask. It’s not gonna offend me.”

  “I don’t want to pry.”

  “Lily, I know you’re not gonna gossip about me or Hannah. So just ask.” He smiled and leaned he elbows on his knees, bringing him just a bit closer to me.

  “Where’s her mother?”

  “Jaime didn’t want Hannah. She tried, but...”

  “You don’t have to tell me, Micah.” I reached out and placed my hand on top of his. It was innocent. A friendly gesture that had nothing to do with the quickening of my breath or the shiver that passed through me. I pulled back before I could read more into it than that.

  “Jaime and I met in tenth grade. She was gorgeous, all long legs and big...well, real pretty. She was outgoing and loved to have fun. We started dating and got mixed up in some stuff that my parents definitely wouldn’t have been happy about. Then she got pregnant. We talked about what to do and decided to go through with it. She was really into the idea of us getting our own place and…” Leaning his elbows on the small table, he dropped his head into his hands, tunneling his hands through his short hair.

  “But she changed her mind?”

  “Not at first. After Hannah was born, we tried to make it work. We had big plans and it seemed like it was all gonna be so great and easy. But nothing really worked. I didn’t want to drop out of school just to work at McDonald’s and we couldn’t afford a place because we didn’t even have jobs. She got overwhelmed pretty quickly. So did I. Then one day when Hannah was a month, Jaime told me she wanted to give Hannah up for adoption. I didn’t understand how she could just not want Hannah anymore. I mean, I know it’s hard, but still she’s our baby.”

  He coughed and took a sip of his drink, keeping his head turned away from me. I wanted to cry for the pain he’d gone through and was obviously still dealing with. My hands trembled, sloshing my drink in its cup. I put it down and clenched my hands into fists, trying to contain the burning. No way could I take the chance of healing him here. If I passed out, they’d call an ambulance then I’d end up at the hospital and Dad would definitely find out then.

  “Mom and Dad helped me convince her to give me sole custody. Once the papers were signed, we moved here. Mom thought it would be good for me to have a fresh start, and all that crap. I think she was sick of all the neighbors knowing our business.”

  “What if Jaime changes her mind again? What if she wants Hannah back?”

  “She can’t. The papers she signed gave up all of her legal rights.”

  “What about if Hannah wants to met her?” I knew how much not having a mother could affect a child, and mine hadn’t made the decision to leave us.

  “I can only give her the contact info if Jaime agrees. Right now, I don’t see that ever happening. She has plans. College and a career goal.”

  “And you don’t? I’ve seen how hard you work in school, Micah. How important it is to you that you do well. You must have plans.”

  “If I can get a full scholarship to a school, then yeah, my parents will help me out, but if I can’t get that there’s no way I can go. My folks have already done so much for me.”

  “Is Hannah why you were grounded?”

  “Basically. Dad told me that if I wanted them to trust me again, we were going back to the beginning, including my curfew and driving privileges from seventh grade.”

  “You had driving privileges in seventh grade?”

  “No, which was pretty much the point. Once it was over, I figured I needed to prove it to them that I had changed. Sometimes I see my mom looking at Hannah as if she’s about to cry and I know it’s because she’s disappointed in me.”

  “I don’t think she is disappointed in you, Micah. At least not anymore.” Every time I’d seen Mrs. Davidson, she’d seemed happy, and the few times I’d had physical contact with her there had been no transfer.

  “She was when I had to tell her Jaime was pregnant. She cried so hard and my dad just stared at me. He didn’t talk to me for almost five months. I don’t want to do that to them again. They want me to have a normal high school experience and all that, which is why they take care of Hannah so much, but I nee
d them to know that I can do it, too. That I want to do it.”

  He shrugged and took one last long sip from his cup, drained it and then stood to toss it in the trash bin behind our table. The conversation was clearly over. I carried my drink as we went back to my dad’s car, needing it to cool the burning in my hands. It was lessening, but I wanted to feel more in control. Driving wasn’t my strong point and I needed to concentrate as much as possible.

  “Do you still miss Dylan?” The question seemed to come out of the blue, but I knew he was thinking about Jaime. Maybe he still missed her.

  I let the question echo through me before answering. “Yes. Every day. I think about how he used to pick me up for school every morning even though I lived in the opposite direction. I miss having him come over and lay on my bed with me as we listened to music. I wonder if I could have done more to help him. I wish I’d done things differently with him.”

  “Do you believe that we can change people?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think it’s even possible to know if you should try until it’s too late.”

  Silence took over for the rest of the ride and when I pulled up in front of Micah’s place, he hopped out, squashing any hidden thoughts I had about kisses.

  He started to close the car door, but stopped at the last minute, and rested his arm across the top of the car, leaning in.

  “You’re a great friend, Lily. Probably my best.” He smiled and then jogged up the path to his house. I waited for him to go inside, a habit my dad had drilled into us, before I sped off, going way faster than the speed limit.

  A friend. Friend. Really?

  What about the kiss? The kisses? Once was a mistake, but twice? A friend?

  Confusion gnawed at my stomach. Maybe this was how it was supposed to happen.

  I pulled up to my house, my headlights reflected on the back of Chloe’s car. I watched the rays of light flicker each time another car passed by. I wasn’t sure exactly how long I’d been sitting there, but it was long enough that I knew how many cars could make it through the intersection at the end of our block before the light turned red.

  A knock at the passenger side door caused me to jump in fright. With one hand over my heart and the other reaching for my cell, I looked over to see Chloe peering in the window. I pressed the unlock button and she climbed in, rubbing her bare arms.

  “What are you doing out here?” I asked.

  “Uh, I think that should be my question. You pulled up fifteen minutes ago and then just sat here, staring into space.”

  “Oh.”

  “Oh? That’s not an answer, Lils.”

  Silence hung between us. What could I say when I didn’t even really know why I was sitting there? I had no clue what had happened between Micah and I, yet it was driving me crazy just thinking about it.

  “How do you know if a guy likes you?” I asked. Chloe stared back at me like I had gone mad. I wanted to tell her I was thinking the same thing.

  “Lily, you and Dylan dated for four years.”

  “That’s different. We were thirteen when he decided he liked me. Thirteen year olds act a bit differently. How would a guy who’s eighteen act?”

  “Oh my God! Are you crushing on some guy? Who is it?”

  “Chloe, stop! Please. Just... come on. How would he act?”

  “Okay, well I guess if they didn’t want to come right out and say it, they’d make an effort to be near you. Try to touch your arm, or hand. They’d watch you a lot and talk to you about things you like.”

  That sounded like how Micah acted around me. The problem was that most people tried to be near me and touch me, simply because they were drawn to me for my gift, even those who didn’t know me. It was as if their bodies sent out a kind of echolocation that led them to me.

  “So? Am I getting any details?” Chloe eagerly rubbed her hands together.

  “No, besides wouldn’t you know before I did if I was suddenly going to start dating some guy?”

  The glee drained from her instantly. “No. I’ve been trying not to see anything. I was so wrong about you and Dylan, and then I didn’t even see what he did. I don’t want to be wrong like that again.”

  “Chloe, you shouldn’t doubt yourself or your gift.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. You’re gift works all too well.”

  “Not all of the time.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked and I realized Phoebe had actually managed to keep it a secret. One whole day must have been a record for her.

  “With Micah, sometimes I feel the burning to heal him, but nothing transfers. Other times I think he’s perfectly fine and it hits me.” I smiled at her so she would know the idea of not being one hundred percent perfect was okay by me. “You know, now that you’re not checking our futures, Phoebe’s gonna be thrilled that she’ll finally know something before you.”

  “Uh, no. I’m still keeping tabs on Phoebe. No way am I going to give up the ability to lord her future over her head.”

  “You’re evil you know?” I laughed at the wicked smile she wore.

  “This is nothing compared to what she’s going to get when she ruins my blue dress next month at Homecoming.” She laughed with me then once we settled down, she said, “So is there a guy you like?”

  “Maybe. Possibly.” I sighed and looked back at the trunk of her car. “It feels different than it did with Dylan. That was so easy at first. There was no guesswork. He told me he liked me first and then went from there. This guy...I don’t know if he actually likes me or if he can’t stand me.”

  “I wish I could help, but the male mind is still a mystery to me. You should ask Nathan or Micah or even that Orville guy.”

  “His name is Owen and that isn’t an option. I’m totally humiliated just by the idea of asking them.”

  “Well, then you’re shit outta luck. Now let’s go inside before Dad wonders what we’re doing out here and tries to give you some of his advice.” We ran inside and I threw my purse on the footrest by the front door.

  I dreamed of Dylan that night. He sat on the front steps of his house and I walked toward him. I smiled, so glad to see him. I walked faster up the path, but got no closer to him. I called his name and he looked up at me, a silly grin on his face. My arm stretched out, reaching for him. He mirrored the motion, but we were further away than ever. His lips formed words, although I heard nothing. My hand dropped and I stopped moving. Dylan rose from the stoop and turned to go back inside, giving me a wave over his shoulder. As he moved, I noticed the blood dripping down the side of his face. I squeezed my eyes shut before I could witness more of the damage done to him with the gun shot blast.

  When my eyes fluttered open, I was back in my room, staring at the plastic stars Dylan had put on my ceiling in the shape of the constellations. It was just a dream, yet had felt so real. I wanted to believe that it was telling me something profound, but I didn’t know what. I tried going back to sleep, but Dylan was gone and what he’d been trying to say had disappeared with him.

  I’d dreamed of Dylan over the last few months, but none had left me feeling so confused. Was this dream prompted by the kiss with Micah? Was it a sign of my guilt hiding just beneath the surface? Whatever it was or wasn’t, I was determined to not let it drag me back into the numbness.

  I waited for Micah to call, text, come by, anything, but when he didn’t after the third day, I forced myself to be normal again. It was a little easier now that my numbness had been broken. I felt the need to do things and to talk to others. Even if he was blowing me off, at least I got something out of the whole mess. I was feeling again. And I liked it.

  Chapter 10

  The first day of school arrived and I was in one piece again. I tried remembering what it had felt like at the end of last school year, or even what I’d been thinking by signing up for some of my classes. I had beginner French second block, and no Spanish. Spanish was my strongest subject, yet somehow I’d decided to drop it? I glanced around the cafeteria
, which at this time of day was nearly empty.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Micah asked, sliding into the chair beside me. It was the first time I’d seen him since the movies and he was acting as if everything were normal. Well, I could do that. Normal wasn’t too hard.

  “Is it too weird to say I’m glad to be back?”

  “Yeah, it is.” Bianca laughed as she came up behind Micah.

  She sat across from us and within minutes my once quiet table was full of people. I rubbed my hands together under the table as everyone’s stress and anxiety brought the heat to life. I thought I’d been hiding it well, until Owen gave me a curious look.

  “What’s wrong, Lily?” he asked. Everyone turned to look at me and I flushed at the attention.

  “Nothing.”

  “Liar,” Phoebe said, and I wished that just for once she had kept her mouth shut. “Does this have to do with Dylan?”

  “What is it, Lils?” Micah asked and the others echoed his question, until their worry grew so much that what had been a mild discomfort in my hands was now a fire spreading up my arms.

  “Stop it!” I snapped. Their voices cut off mid questions and they all watched me warily. Did they think I was going to snap under the pressure of being back here? They weren’t going to let this go. My shoulders drooped and I said, “I’m fine.”

  I kept my eyes on Phoebe, knowing I’d have to do a sneak attack on her. Under the table, I pressed my leg against Micah’s. Nothing transferred. Well, then he was going to have to deal with his own worry. Nathan was just as easy as Micah was. He was more laid back about school than Karin or even Bianca. A simple nudge of my foot against his under the table was enough, and Bianca had no clue anything was even happening when I mentioned her tag was sticking up and pressed my fingers to the back of her neck.

  Karin was on my other side and, too bad for me, she was a complete mess of nerves. It flowed into me and I sucked in a breath. Luckily, it left as quickly as it came. Phoebe’s eyes widened and she pushed back her chair, but I had anticipated her move, and jumped up from my seat while reaching across the table for her. I managed to snag the hand she was using to lever herself up from her seat.